Ivy/ CONFUCIANIST VIEW(Blame the woman, spare the man)

1. Women are encouraged to forgive their spouse when they go astray. This is because a successful man's marital infidelity for example, Jack Neo has historically been tolerated in Chinese culture. A men having more than one partner seems to be accepted in the Chinese tradition which could be seen from many rich and successful men in the past having 'three wives and five concubines'.

2. Men were also referred to the ones who really play a role and matter in the any relationship, which caused many females willing to endure and accept when their spouse stray. This could be seen in many celebrities nowadays willing to forgive their spouse and allow them to return to their side. Furthermore, In a survey two sinologists carried out in the mid-1990s in Taipei, Guangzhou, Shanghai and Beijing, most respondents felt that the wronged party - usually the wife, of course - ought to remain patient and do her utmost to persuade the wayward spouse to return.

3. It was also stated that men prefer women who are pretty, chaste and healthy women who were less educated, less intelligent, or had less promising careers than they did. While on the other hand, women preferred men who were smarter and financially stable and it also further supports its stand that the third party in the relationship which in this context, the female, ought to be blame which could be seen from the article that modern, financially independent women with their own careers who are willing to get involved with married men for the romantic intimacy, without eventual marriage in mind.

I disagree with the writer to a large extent, this is because when a man gets caught having an affair with another woman, the wife or the third party should not shoulder the full blame, the man should also be blamed to some extent, to the fact he could not control his urges to get involved in another relationship, knowing that it is morally wrong and letting his spouse down.

Though its mainly stated in confucianist point of view that woman are largely to be blamed ''the wife who is responsible for the domestic conditions that impel her man to play the field or just that the other woman had set out to seduce a married man, it is still women who are really at fault.'' as well as "modern, financially independent women with their own careers who are willing to get involved with married men for the romantic intimacy, without eventual marriage in mind." This is only a minority of women, at which the survey is taken, women should not be stereotyped as the one's who look for short term relationship just to fulfill their satisfaction and not be assumed that they would necessarily forgive their spouse and beg them or allow them to return to their side when they stray.